From daycare to Daniels Hall: Cousins bring charisma, caring to RA roles
During his long career with University Housing, Steve Parsons has worked with hundreds of resident advisors, and he’s seen a lot.
A number of RAs have stood out in his mind for their exemplary work. He remembers others who have come to the University of Illinois proud of their family legacy at the school. He’s also witnessed RAs and desk clerks forge lifelong connections, including two student staffers who fell in love and left the university as a married couple.
But until Parsons met Vicky Olaleye and later figured out why she seemed so familiar, he had never worked with students who were related, pursuing nearly identical paths and so similar to one another.
Those paths took them both – years apart – to the third floor of Daniels Hall. Room 315, to be exact.
Parsons, a University of Illinois employee since 1999 and a complex coordinator of graduate upper-division halls since 2002, said when he first met Vicky, “she seemed like somebody I had met before. I could not place it.”
Likewise, when Vicky first walked into Daniels Hall as a student, she said it seemed familiar to her.
“I didn’t understand where I had memories associated with the building until I talked to [my cousin] a little bit later,” Vicky said.
Parsons and Vicky Olaleye have a common connection: Vicky’s beloved cousin Elizabeth “Lizzy” Adeleye.
The College Journey, Part I
Growing up, Vicky always looked up to Elizabeth, who is eight years older.
Elizabeth’s mother runs a daycare just a few minutes from where Vicky lived, and Vicky says she “grew up in that daycare,” which allowed her to spend most days with her older cousin.
“I literally wanted to be her,” Vicky said. “I wanted to be just like her growing up, and she was really who I looked at in terms of a role model, a cousin, obviously, but also a friend.”
Elizabeth also felt that special connection.
“Victoria is my little cousin but has always been [like] a little sister to me,” Elizabeth said. “We were attached to each other’s hips for the longest [time], so when I was going to college, that meant we wouldn’t be able to see each other every day how we usually do.”
In the ensuing years, Elizabeth’s little cousin – her “mini-me” – would follow a path that is so parallel and filled with so many coincidental happenings that Elizabeth describes it with a laugh as “just mind-blowing” and “crazy.”
Vicky tagged along when Elizabeth’s mom drove her to the U. of I. before her first year, and when it was time to say goodbye, tears were shed all around.
Her second visit to the U. of I. was a few years later, when Elizabeth graduated. She was so proud of her cousin, and Vicky took in everything around her during her campus visit, including the small details of her cousin’s room in the residence hall.
She remembers the layout of the room, the way the sun shone in, her cousin’s decorations and the pictures Elizabeth displayed with her college friends.
Vicky didn’t remember the name of the residence hall she visited, just the room and how it made her feel.
Encouraged by Her RA
As a student, Elizabeth lived in Taft-Van Doren during her first year and was inspired by her resident advisor, whom she describes as “awesome” and something of a role model.
“She was one of the only other Black women on my floor, and so that was really a great opportunity for me to witness what the possibilities were,” she said.
Elizabeth said her RA helped her navigate her schedule, encouraged her to get involved in organizations and to apply to be an RA, and she wanted to “give back” in the same way.
“Navigating college can be really stressful and hard, especially being a child of an immigrant and not necessarily knowing all of the opportunities that are out there,” Elizabeth said, referring to her mother, who came to America from Nigeria when she was around 18 or 19 “to pursue better opportunities for herself, and ultimately, to provide better opportunities for her children as well.”
Along with working as a front desk clerk in Nugent and Wassaja halls, Elizabeth became an RA as a sophomore in Sherman Hall, home of graduate upper-division students.
She said it was “a little bit intimidating at first,” being an RA in a building where many residents were graduate students, with some pursuing their Ph.D., but she loved it. After one year in Sherman, she then lived and worked as an RA in Daniels Hall, University Housing’s other GUD residence hall.
Elizabeth said she learned her role was not to be a parent-like authority figure, it was just to help people navigate their college experience, and if she wasn’t able to guide them, it was her job to refer them to someone who could.
“I thought [being an RA] was a really cool opportunity,” Elizabeth said. “Once I realized what my place was, it was a really great experience. I loved putting on programs; I loved connecting residents to different resources through the university; and I just loved connecting people and meeting people.”
Elizabeth studied community health, graduating in 2017. She loved her experience at Illinois so much that, when the time came for her younger cousin to choose a school, Elizabeth had a recommendation.
The College Journey, Part II
“I was an advocate for her attending U. of I. because I had a great college experience,” Elizabeth said. “It wasn’t always the easiest, but I believe that U. of I. has so many opportunities for students to engage in. So, I shared as much of my experiences as I could with her and also advised her on jobs to look into [and] applying to be an RA if she had the capacity to do so.”
Vicky definitely had the capacity, and that’s what led her to Daniels Hall and Steve Parsons.
In what Elizabeth called a “full circle moment,” she returned to Champaign for the first time since her graduation when she helped Vicky move into her residence hall when she started college.
Elizabeth remembered thinking, “This is her independence. She’s about to start the rest of her life. So, yeah, it was emotional.”
During her first year, Vicky began expanding her horizons by being a part of the Intersections living-learning community.
Then, with Elizabeth’s encouragement, she applied to be an RA. She got the job, living and working in Hopkins Hall during her sophomore year. She said she realized “how fun it was to impact [first-year students’] experiences at the U. of I.”
While being an RA was tough at times, Vicky said she has always been able to rely on University Housing employees, particularly other RAs, during challenging moments.
“That is also a big part of why I continue to be an RA,” Vicky said, “because I feel like I have a really good support system in terms of the other RAs that I get to work with.”
Vicky was less certain about applying to be an RA in a GUD hall, like Elizabeth had done, but after working as a summer RA in Daniels Hall, she changed her mind.
“I realized that I really liked the environment at Daniels Hall specifically,” Vicky said, “and I talked to Valerie, who is my [residence hall director] now and at the time, and she told me that she felt like I would make a really good RA for Daniels. So, that was kind of the final factor and essentially why I’m an RA here now.”
The A-Ha Moment – “A Wild Coincidence”
Of course, throughout her time as a student and RA, Vicky has been able to rely on the advice of her cousin Elizabeth.
During a FaceTime chat, Elizabeth noticed Vicky’s room in Daniels Hall looked familiar. After Vicky told her she was on the third floor, Elizabeth said, “I think you’re in the same room that I lived in.”
In a follow-up chat with Parsons, she mentioned her cousin, and he began to make the connection.
“He took me to the conference room downstairs at Daniels, and there were pictures up there of previous RAs,” Vicky said. Elizabeth was in a couple of those pictures on the wall. “He said, ‘I think you might be staying in the same room that she was staying in at the time,’ and I was like, there is no way!”
Parsons verified the information and was as excited by the realization as Vicky.
“It was only then, as she began to talk and we began to compare notes, that we realized together that she had taken the exact same path that Lizzy had taken ... to the point of even being in the same exact RA room that Lizzy had been placed in, which was remarkable,” Parsons said.
“Lizzy had served as an RA in multiple halls, so did Vicky. Lizzy had become a summer RA, so did Vicky,” he said. “Lizzy had been placed in Daniels 315, so had Vicky. Lizzy had taken an extra position as a student hourly employee and doing mail, which is exactly what Vicky is doing today.”
It suddenly made sense to Parsons why Vicky seemed so familiar.
“They certainly have the same smile; they have the same welcoming demeanor and attitude; they have the same work ethic; they have the same commitment to residents,” he said. “It would be very unusual not to see Vicky or Lizzy with a smile, and not to see them out greeting other individuals, whether on campus or in the hall. And they carry that with them.”
Vicky said she and Elizabeth’s lives have always been linked together.
“We always say that I’m the mini version of her, so everything that she experienced, I typically end up experiencing because we’re so similar,” Vicky said. Because of that, ending up in her cousin’s old room “wasn’t even outlandish because it was so on brand for me being the mini version of her.”
When Vicky confirmed to Elizabeth that she was in her old room, Elizabeth said it was “just mind-blowing, honestly,” but it made sense.
“It’s a wild coincidence, if I can even call it a coincidence,” Elizabeth said, adding that she was still processing it. “I don’t know what this means, but it’s just crazy. Honestly, very fitting at the same time.”
Lizzy described Vicky’s personality and hers as “pretty similar,” saying they’re both “go-getters” and busy people who have a positive energy and positive outlook on life and try to be peacemakers. “We also share our faith. We’re both Christian, and I think that’s a very grounding part of us as well.”
While the two cousins have so much in common, they also have their own unique interests and career paths.
Elizabeth is currently living in Los Angeles and working as a campus recruiter for United Airlines. Vicky is studying journalism, and as she inches closer to graduation, she is contemplating where she might want to work or potentially go to grad school after next year.
Vicky said she’s even considering work or grad school in California, where she could be close to her cousin. After spending so much time together as kids, she said the two cousins would like to spend time together as adults.
Whatever the future holds for Vicky and Elizabeth, Parsons said they have both made a big impact during their time at the University of Illinois.
“They make personal connections with people,” Parsons said. “They build community with those who are here on campus, and they create a sense of belonging.”
Parsons said students may not remember little details from all the classes they had, or all of their midterms, final exams or individual faculty members, but they “do remember the sense of belonging. They do remember the community. They do remember … that Illinois is a place that they can call home. And when you talk about Lizzy and Vicky, I think that’s what they brought here to Illinois. They brought a sense where people – and they themselves – feel at home.”